Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
