so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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