Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
