so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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