you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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