two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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