Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it was like eating out sand paper
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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