I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I had to cum in my sink.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
