Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
