yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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