There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
