I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize