we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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