you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Nicole vs. Life
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
