if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
