I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
