Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
