you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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