he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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