Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
