just come out here and I will go home with you...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize
