Whod you bang
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I need to stop coming to work sober
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
