I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We were destined to go to rehab together
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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