is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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