I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
