So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
