I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
