i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's blow job season.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
