I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Welp...herpes.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
