Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
