I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
soo... how was my night?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
