I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
