yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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