cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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