Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
