this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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