I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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