So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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