I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
