I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
