Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
