We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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