is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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