so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
