What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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