I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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