is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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