i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
