I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
