I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I have already put on my inside pants.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You left your phone here
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