need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
