I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
