you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
