But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Sober January is a disaster.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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