I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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