I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
