When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize