i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
