I need help removing her.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
