The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
