i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
