Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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