I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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