I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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